I'm pretty sure my prayers go directly to God's spam folder.
I just farted in the apple store and everyone got upset. Itís not my fault they donít have windows
My weekend face and my monday face.
my breakfast
I'd rather check my facebook than face my checkbook!
I'll be back in five minutes. If I'm not, read this again.
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
I do not have grey hair, i have wisdom highlights.
i enjoy long romantic walks to my fridge
I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones sheís been giving me lately!
I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere.
Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
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