My first Facebook timeline picture
Sometimes I wish I was a bird Ö so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
this person goes to sleep
My bank is the worst. They're charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can't even afford to be broke.
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist. I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
Yes, Iím a smoker and no, I donít have yellow teeth...theyíre blond!!!!
I Hate How Chocolate Immediately Melt On My Fingers. I Mean, Am I That Hot?
My wife is like Google, they know everything and follow me everywhere.
I'll be back in five minutes. If I'm not, read this again.
This person is hungry
I just farted in the apple store and everyone got upset. Itís not my fault they donít have windows
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